Women Praying Boldly

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Get Married, shows how living intentionally is the key to marrying well. It's a fresh and hopeful perspective of the pre-marriage years that includes praying for your friends, parents, churches, and the men in -- or soon to be in -- your life. The Women Praying Boldly community is here to help you make it personal.

I'm passionate about seeing you thrive. I believe the Women Praying Boldly community can be part of that. Please join us. Click here to learn more about it, ask a question, or if you're ready, become a member.

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What Readers are Saying

As an older woman, I'm so excited about Get Married. I've already ordered 15 copies and have three left as I keep thinking of young women and mothers of young women who would benefit so greatly from the biblical foundation as well as practical ways of thinking and living toward getting married. The book of Ruth provides such significant ideas in the "how" of a woman's response when a Boaz appears interested in her. Get Married makes me aware of why we have accepted the culture's philosophy on marriage. I pray Candice's book will pave the way for many biblical marriages and the multiplication of the Gospel.

—Phyllis

I do commend this book both to single women who hope to be married someday, as well as those married women who have single friends, or work in a singles ministry. I think Watters does a great job instructing the reader to be content, patient, godly and wise, while at the same time bringing this message of hope to those who have been told for so long that their hope is foolish.

—Gretchen Reads

"I JUST finished the book literally two minutes ago and set it down with a smile on my face (and many pages of notes in my journal). I am so inspired to share this with my single girl friends. I also want to have a chat with my pastor about better equipping young adult men and women for their respective roles in marriage. And possibly working with the elderly Sunday School groups to "adopt" a young adult into mentorship. It's amazing how revolutionary these concepts are in our present culture! Thank you so much for putting these ideas together in a book for us!"

— Marlys

"You addressed so many things in your book that are exactly what the world and the church are telling single women these days, and it was so nice to have someone understand, and then counter it with great advice.... I was very glad that your book was more than just a culmination of your Pulling a Ruth articles. It all tied together so well. Thanks again for this book, and boundless.org too."

— Apryl

Read more reviews

Forum

30 day Encouragement...
3 Replies

Started by Cyndy Rogers. Last reply by Cyndy Rogers Aug 31.

Day 2 " . . . through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them. Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list! Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength. DAY 3 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19 Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement. If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender. Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest ne... Reply »

For Lent I'm letting go and letting God
5 Replies

Started by Janie. Last reply by Karissa Rose Aug 24.

Well here I am again, heartbroken over a man. Turns out I opened up my heart but it wasn't enough. I have been feeling sorry for myself for the past two weeks since I found the pictures of him and his new girlfriend. It makes me think if I will ever find the man that God created for me. I can't continue to tourture myself. Today is the start of Lent, I decided that I can't keep holding on to a memory without driving myself nuts. So for lent, I've decided to let go and put it in God's hands. I know that whatever happens in my life, he always has the best for me. Reply »

Fasting Anyone?
2 Replies

Started by Jo-Ann. Last reply by Jo-Ann Aug 12.

Hi Ladies, Lately I've been challenged with the thought that fasting precedes breakthrough. Will anyone join me in a time of fasting and prayer for God to bring us husbands? I will be starting a week long fast on the 17th of August 2009. Anyone is welcome to stand together with me as we believe for God to move in our lives. Take a step. The time is now. Blessings, Jo-Ann Reply »

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Blog Posts

Blog Changes Ahead

Posted by Candice Watters on August 19th, 2009 at 2:40pm
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s we prepare for the upcoming national broadcasts, it occurred to me that after nearly two years of blogging here, it's time for a blog face lift. You know, if blogs had faces. And as with a real face lift, I'm working to make this as seamless as possible!

The biggest part of the change will be moving the blog from Ning to Typepad. Though most of this change will be behind the scenes, changing our hosting service will mean a big change for our community.

A Central Gathering Place—Rather than having lots of small groups and individual blogs, we're going to shift into one large WPB group on Facebook. This will give everyone a central place to gather and connect and hopefully, make our conversations more engaging for more women and thereby, more fruitful (more on this to come).

More Integrated—Get Married is one of several projects I'm focusing on now. By moving this site to Typepad, I'll be able to more easily move between our several projects that include my other book (co-authored with Steve): Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies, and the Boundless Line blog (and Boundless.org webzine). I'm hopeful this will make it easier to blog more often and cover a few more topics, as well as make it easier for you to be involved in our other ministry efforts.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the changes as they roll out over the next two weeks leading up to the first broadcast on August 31. Feel free to email me.

Updates and Announcements

Posted by Candice Watters on August 4th, 2009 at 2:04pm
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esterday, Albert Mohler talked on his radio show about "The Case for (Early) Marriage," the Mark Regnerus cover story in this month's Christianity Today magazine. It's an exceptional article that, while sobering, offers much hope in the way of exposing the problem of extended singleness in such a visible and influencial place.

Being an avid Twitter user, I saw Dr. Mohler's tweet asking for callers so I figured it was worth a try to get through. And I did, on the first try. It was fun to talk to him on-air about the challenges facing single women in their desire for marriage, as well as the role men play in putting it off. You can listen to the whole show, including our conversation, here.

Monday, Boundless published, "Working Full Time as a Stay at Home Wife," my response to a woman who is nearly finished with her degree and about to get married. She's thinking about forgoing a full-time job to focus on her husband, her home, and her ministry, but she's wondering if that would be lazy or selfish. I guessed her question and my answer might stir up some controversy, and true to form, there's quite a debate over on the Boundless Line blog. You can join the conversation--95 comments and counting--here.

Finally, after a lull in book news, there are three Get Married interviews coming up that I wanted to let you know about.

Family Life Today -- Steve and I flew to Arkansas this past April to record interviews with hosts Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine. It was a lot of fun to see the FL studios in person and an added bonus, we got to visit some of our best friends while we were there.

We originally planned to discuss Start Your Family, but thankfully, they decided to add a session on Get Married, too! The Get Married interview will air first on August 31-September 1. You'll be able to listen to Steve and me talk about our dating days, as well as the challenges facing singles, and the active role God calls women to play in marrying well. This is a national show; for station info in your area, visit their website.

Focus on the Family -- This one followed on the heels of a lot of prayer. I was thrilled to get the call that Dr. Dobson wanted to talk about Get Married on air. Even better, he invited my good friend Carolyn McCulley to join, and together, with co-host John Fuller, we recorded three days of broadcasts about being single, hoping for marriage, trusting God and more. Also a national show, you'll be able to listen on your radio (station guide) or online. The show is slated to air October 12-14 (station guide).

Focus on the Family Weekend Magazine -- Part of the "Tough Questions" series, this conversation with host Juli Slattery also includes Lisa Anderson (host of the Boundless Show podcast) and a drop in from a few other single listeners. The interview, which aired earlier this year in two parts on the Boundless Show, will be spread over several Saturdays in November.

That's all for now. If you'd like a more efficient way to stay up-to-date with what's happening, you can follow me on Twitter.

What about Cosmetic Surgery?

Posted by Candice Watters on July 6th, 2009 at 1:51pm
4 Comments (Add a Comment)

ast week I received an email from a man who is considering having his eyelids done. He is of Asian descent and is pondering the procedure, wondering if it might make him more attractive and thereby, more marriageable. That's the tough question I answer in today's Boundless Answers column.

He asks,

In my younger years, I often dismissed any type of cosmetic surgery (for both men and women). But then I kept hearing stories about how some (mainly women) were "much happier" after having cosmetic surgery done. For example, this one lady at my church had a stomach staple done a few years ago. She lost over 100+ pounds and has since been married for a couple of years. I don't believe that she's naive enough to deny that the surgery helped her find a mate....

If there are traits that make someone more desirable, is it sinful to pursue those? We tell both women and men to wear clothes that look good on them. Some men and women wear perfume/cologne in part attract the opposite sex. So even though surgery sounds extreme (which it is), I wonder why that should be taboo.

Want to know what I answered? You can read my reply here.

Holiday Reading

Posted by Candice Watters on July 3rd, 2009 at 1:50pm
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ext to Christmas and Easter, Independence Day is my favorite holiday. I love the annual reminder that our freedom isn't free and that we have a rare history for which to be grateful. Steve and I started watching The Birth of Freedom last night and after we finish that, we're going to continue in our viewing of John Adams (it's amazing how long it can take us to watch a series these days!).

If you're looking for some good reminders of how precious liberty is--and how costly--both are excellent. I'd also recommend reading the Declaration of Independence (thanks to the LA Times for republishing it here). And if you can play some John Philip Sousa music while you're reading, all the better. (You can get free MP3 files of his marches played by the United States Marine Band here.)

The Power of a Prayer Partner

Posted by Candice Watters on June 8th, 2009 at 8:21pm
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guest post by Tabi Upton

lmost every Saturday, my walking partner and I meet at the local river walk and hike our way through its twists and turns for about an hour. It goes rapidly because we use it as a time to talk and catch up with each other’s life. When she’s not there, I usually opt for something less involved, or worse, no exercise at all.

There’s something about partnering that helps me. On this long and often difficult walk of singleness, I’ve found that the same principle applies. A few years ago God laid it on my heart to seek a prayer partner. Serendipitously, my friend Ayesha was looking also, and approached me with the idea of becoming mine. She and I had been friends since college, when we met on a semester long trip to Central America. She was great fun, and I marveled at her unique relationship with the Lord. She introduced me to creativity in worshipful dance and mystery in prayer. I found her down to earth and non-religious approach to God refreshing.

As our relationship grew, we began to share our hopes and dreams, failures, successes, and especially our desire for strong men of God to become our husbands. She told me about her faith chest, where items bought or acquired for marriage are stored as an action of faith before God. I created my own, dropping in a book or two, a man’s clothing item given me from someone who thought I was already married, and wedding magazines.

Whenever I share a shameful story of failure or weakness, Ayesha never judges me; she simply encourages me to keep trying. Not only that, she always has my back. Once when she visited my home, a harmless yet slick neighbor we called “Gator” was trying his best to get me to come talk to him alone. Ayesha stood giggling beside me, pretending to misunderstand his cues for her to exit and give us privacy, she quietly refused to leave my side. He finally gave up and walked away while we entered the house laughing like girls. She’s even boldly called to check on me when I’m spending time with male friends she knows I may have trouble setting boundaries with. She gently but consistently keeps me accountable by reminding me who I am and whose I am.

Today, we commit our requests to God on a weekly basis. When my faith falters, she continues to model her trust in the good things our Father will one day bring into our realities. In return I enjoy offering back her gifts of friendship and sisterhood.

I am better because of her. We all need an “Ayesha” in our lives to push us along, laugh and cry with us—someone to bundle our supplications up with and send them on to Heaven.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9,10).

Two are better than one. Even when you’re single.

Welcome, Kelly's Korner Readers

Posted by Candice Watters on June 3rd, 2009 at 2:18pm
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f you're visiting here from Kelly's Korner, Welcome! We hope you'll look around and maybe even jump into a conversation or two. We're a community of women encouraging each other to risk hoping for marriage, confident that we serve a God who's still in the business of making good matches!

And if you're a regular and wondering who Kelly is, and why her readers are stopping by today, I'll tell you. It's a great privilege to be featured today on one of the fastest-growing, popular mom blogs, Kelly's Korner. Before Kelly had her baby daughter Harper, and before Harper spent the first weeks of her life in the NICU, Kelly spent a decade waiting to get married. Then she and her husband dealt with infertility. And then they spent weeks waiting to take Harper home from the hospital. This woman is no stranger to delays.

Not one to get her "ring-by-spring," Kelly has a heart for other women who are still single beyond their expectations. She even has a prayer blog especially for single women. (It's coupled with her prayer list for women waiting to be moms.)

If you follow me on Twitter, then you already know this. But if not, here's the scoop: Kelly is giving away two copies of Get Married today. All you have to do to enter the contest is leave a comment on her blog post, here.

Eww!

Posted by Candice Watters on May 26th, 2009 at 8:50am
1 Comment (Add a Comment)

ome things just aren't worth doing to find a husband. Kissing this guy, for example.

We saw him at the zoo this weekend during a brief break in the rain.

Insights for Marrying Well

Posted by Candice Watters on May 26th, 2009 at 8:49am
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r. Brad Wilcox, one of the top family scholars in America, answered some questions from Steve about how couples go about forming families today and the role parents, pastors and mentors can play in supporting them.

In the midst of his wise comments, he had this to say:

"Paradoxically, couples who understand that marriage is about many different goods in life (not just an intense emotional relationship) are more likely to enjoy a happy, lifelong marriage than couples who see marriage through a soulmate lens."

To read the whole interview, go here.

Can You Pray Away Your Sex Drive?

Posted by Candice Watters on April 27th, 2009 at 10:21am
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ust because societal norms are to marry later (whether due to personal choice or due to circumstances in this fallen world — the latter being my situation at present), doesn't mean our God-given sexuality is delayed along with the marriage plans. So how do we deal?"

That's what one reader asked me for this week's Boundless Answers. It's a question I suspect all Christian single women ask, whether out loud or just in their own heads. I know I did. So what's the answer?

Here's a bit of what I wrote,

I'm not sure it will do any good to ask God to take away your biological urges. After all, He created you to have them, and to have them for a purpose. Your biological promptings are linked to God's design. Your digestive system gives you hunger pangs to let you know your body needs more fuel. Your nervous system prompts you to remove your hand from hot appliances. Your sexual desires can be manipulated in many ways, but at their core, they are designed by God to prompt you to be united in the one flesh union of marriage.

You can read my full reply here. (And please do send your questions to editor@boundless.org for future columns.)

There's Always Room for Improvement

Posted by Candice Watters on April 24th, 2009 at 1:03pm
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hysical beauty shouldn't be the main focus in your search for a spouse. I've said it so many times (here, here, and here) that I think it's safe to shift gears for a minute. Beauty's not the main thing. But it is something. And to that end, there's always room for improvement.

Consider the difference some tweezers, a little color and a few new clothes can make. (It doesn't even have to be a real Burberry scarf.)

I suspect it's the contrast provided by a homely spinster opening her mouth and singing like an angel that has moved so many millions to watch the YouTube clip of Susan Boyle's performance. Not sure if Boyle's new look will help her in the Britain's Got Talent competition. Or hurt her. But dreams of singing stardom aside, I can't help but think that where dropping the spinster label is concerned, her new look is a plus.