Melissa's discussions

Internet Dating Etiquette

Added a post Jun 28

I think nudging/winking/poking is ok. Statistically, there are many more women than men on dating websites and letting a guy know you are there is perfectly acceptable. When I was online, I generally waited a day or two after receiving a match before I made any contact, and then I'd send my first set of questions (this was eHarmony). If he's not interested, he'll either do nothing or close you out. You don't have much to lose. Reply »

Tagged: dating, internet, online

Moving for Love

Added a reply Jun 22

Thanks, Sarah Jane. That is a great story to hear. I'm sure there will be new things that we'll discover about each other when we live in closer proximity. Reply »

Moving for Love

Added a reply Jun 17

He'd like to get engaged this summer and married this winter. My family is supportive of the move. Reply »

Bible Study for Singles?

Added a reply May 31

"Guarding your Heart without Losing your Mind"-that sounds like it would make an awesome book! I'd read it! :-) Reply »

Moving for Love 4 Replies

Started this discussion. Last reply by Melissa Jun 22.

I am planning on moving to be closer to my long distance boyfriend this Fall. It will be the best thing for our relationship to be in the same city, but at the same time, I am sad to think of leaving my family in the northeast. Has anyone else had a similar (hopefully happily ending!) experience? Reply »

I'm engaged!

Added a reply May 21

I'm so glad everything worked out so well. Congratulations! Reply »

I'm engaged!

Added a post May 19

How was the wedding? Reply »

The gap b/t women and men

Added a post Apr 23

Why would you still have to be the breadwinner? Why not adjust your lifestyle to his income? You could start saving now for being a homemaker when the time comes. Reply »

I'm engaged!

Added a post Mar 26

Congratulations!!! I'm glad you did the marriage counseling class and everything is working out for you! Reply »

Online Dating?

Added a reply Aug 18 2008

Hi Claire, Your reply was timely, because I am in the middle of three month subscription to eHarmony right now. I signed up on a whim, and one of my friends who met her husband on eH is giving me some guidance. I agree with the potential negatives of not knowing someone's character and the long distance. Yet, I live in rural New England and I am not meeting men. Part of being bold is taking risks, so that's why I signed up. Candice's book encourages a change of locale, and this is related in that you become open to meeting people who are not where you are. In online dating, I think it's important to meet within a few months of talking and one person has to move at some point to nurture the relationship. If I talk to someone and it gets to the point where we want to meet, I think it would be a good idea to talk to some of his family members before we meet. If he (and they) are open to it, that's a good sign. Also, my friend has encouraged me to start communication. She says the rules are different online. I think an icebreaker might be a good compromise, because it's the equivalent of you saying "hi," from the swarm of matches a guy typically receives. One guy I talked to has had 400 matches since January, and this on a site that narrows down matches based on 29 dimensions of compatibility! It's not reasonable to think a guy would have the time or patience to sort through all of them, and being friendly is a way to make yourself stand out while not being too aggressive. Although I will admit I've started communication several times. The only time it's felt awkward is when it was someone I was introduced to a few years ago who left me a few phone messages without his number, so I was never able to call him back. Now I find myself wondering if he is replying just to be polite, or if he really does want to give it another try. Online dating is not cut and dry by any means, but another way to meet people. I'm certainly willing to give it a chance. Reply »