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Men We're Praying For
Added a post Feb 1 2008
I'm struggling through that very issue myself, Sophia. You're definitely not alone on that one! I don't have any easy answers on this. I'm reading Carolyn McCulley's book Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? right now and she talks about being convicted that she was learning to live in a state of "unexpectant apathy" as her prayers continued to go, seemingly, unanswered. Going through the motions of prayer and belief, but not convinced God would bless. Bottom line: not trusting God. Ouch. I am slowly seeing that I need to have Faith and Trust in God's ability and His desire to give me good things. Beautiful gifts. Even marriage, perhaps. However, I must keep my own eyes and desire upon HIM as my first love and highest joy, above those other gifts and regardless of if He bestows them. Ouch again. And thus begins what I am coming to picture as walking a tightrope every day. I seem to slide so easily to feeling more heavily one way or the other, sometimes even within the same minute, much less day or week. And the more I focus on how badly I'm balancing them... the more I wobble. Hmm.. perhaps much like Peter walking on the water?! When I stop staring at my 'balance bar' and it's tendency to get off kilter, and I just look up at my Jesus, life settles inside, my heart stills, and I realize I don't have to agonize over whether I"m trusting Him enough (works) , or if He'll bless me with things I'll actually like (come on, we all think that!), like marriage (enemy's lies). I just need to trust the Heart of this Man who adores me and know that I can look to each day with joy for His gifts of Love. I'm only called to live the next moment. Not 5 years from now. And I think I can handle that. Most of my worries are about yesterday and tomorrow usually anyway. I like the way Elisabeth Elliot put it (not quoting verbatim, but from a few years memory)... "Waiting (with hope!) requires living with the unanswered question.. lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon o... Reply »
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