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Women Praying Boldly

Candice Watters's Page

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Candice Watters's Profile

Candice Watters (getmarried)
Female
United States
Hometown:
Colorado Springs, CO
Relationship Status:
Married
About Me:
After graduating from Regent University and marrying Steve Watters, we moved to Colorado to work with Focus on the Family where we founded Boundless webzine. I served as its editor for five years. Now I write regularly for the site about courtship and dating, getting married, and figuring out where kids fit into it all. Additionally, I answer questions from readers in "Boundless Answers: Women,"a bi-weekly advice column. Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen (Moody) is my first book.
Website:
www.helpgetmarried.com
E-mail Address:
candice@helpgetmarried.com
Favorite Music:
James Taylor, Mindy Smith, Alison Krauss, Nickel Creek, Ella Fitzgerald, Gipsy Kings; opera, jazz, classical, bluegrass, and good movie soundtracks
Favorite Movies:
The Gathering Storm, Family Man, Pride and Prejudice, Glory, Chariots of Fire, Emma (BBC Version is great), Shadowlands, anything classic Christmas
Favorite Books:
The Beginning of Wisdom, Total Truth, Modern Times, Lord of the Rings, A Landscape with Dragons, A Christmas Carol, Men and Marriage, Amanda Bright @ Home, Pride and Prejudice
Favorite Authors:
C.S. Lewis, Paul Johnson, Peggy Noonan, Edith Schaeffer, Peter Kreeft, Robert Coles, Gary Thomas

Candice Watters's Groups

Forum

Is it wrong for me to keep praying for this??

Added a post Jun 3

I think it's ok to pray boldly for God to change Archie's heart toward you, but I also think you should back away from the friendship a bit. To be his emotional confidante is to play a part he hasn't legitimately asked you to play. You are being more available to him than the friendship warrants. I think if he were to feel your absence, that would be the most likely thing to help him move toward you. Reply »

to see all recent blog posts on the network

Added a post Mar 3

Thanks for sharing this find, Amanda. It's handy! I didn't know about it either. But am glad to have the page bookmarked now. Reply »

Age does matter, right?

Added a post Feb 20

Lately, I'm hearing of a lot of good matches between older women and younger men. Sharon (who's story of praying with her 30 friends is in the "Pray Boldly" chapter) just married a younger man. I'm not sure how many years younger, but it's at least five. I've talked about age difference both on Boundless and in the book. What I've said before is: It's not so much a matter of years but of maturity and compatibility. If you're still in your early 20s, there's a prudential and practical age limit beneath which you should not consider going. As women age, the potential for good matches with men who are younger increases. Once you're past college, it's not so much a matter of years but of maturity and compatibility. A lot of life experience tends to happen between eighteen and twenty-three--the kinds of things that have the ability to grow you (and him) up, if you let them. If you do decide to date a younger man, one key thing to keep in mind is that he's still called to lead. The man should always be the initiator. Then it's up to you to decide how you will respond. Allowing the man to lead is paramount to the success of any romantic relationship--especially if you're older. Reply »

 

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What's on His iPod?

Posted by Candice Watters on August 11th, 2008 at 3:51pm
2 Comments (Add a Comment)


 
otally off subject, I love the Olympics and spent a good deal of the weekend cheering the Americans on and praying for the Chinese. Steve and I were watching swimming on Saturday and agreeing that we'd like to know what Michael Phelps was listening to just before he swam his way to his first gold medal. What do you think?

This morning my iPod was set to a mellow worship mix for my significantly slower walk on the treadmill. At 27 weeks pregnant, it's still a good workout, though. I was meditating on what it's going to take to have the patience for the next 14 weeks. (It's amazing how slowly time can move when you're waiting for something like a new baby, or as many of you know, a husband). I believe God's word for me in this season of waiting while uncomfortable is to give thanks. I know it's always His will for all believers to do that, but last night, the thought just hit me afresh.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I love this exhortation to not be anxious. God, in His mercy, told us humans to not be anxious about anything -- we who are so easily anxious about everything! And then, while not being anxious, to give Him thanks about everything. Such a counterintuitive way to approach whatever challenges, delays, or questions you may be facing.

For now, I'm going to focus my listening, and my praying, on that portion of Scripture that's so rich in comfort and full of hope!

Good Reading

Posted by Candice Watters on July 29th, 2008 at 10:19am
2 Comments (Add a Comment)


 
found great encouragement, as well as an essential challenge in today's Boundless article, Eat Bitter by Carolyn McCulley. For those who wonder, now what? As in, now that I'm believing God still makes good matches, living like I'm planning to marry, and praying boldly, what do I do in the meantime?

Carolyn's article is a picture of contentment, not a resignation to circumstances, but the type I believe Paul was talking about. She writes,

... specifically for us women, Peter proclaimed that unfading feminine beauty is found in the quiet and gentle spirit (1 Peter 3:4). The Christian perspective is not just a command to absorb loss and difficulties, but to meet it with love, faith and joy. Thus, a quiet, gentle spirit is not a personality issue. Boisterous women can have quiet, trusting hearts. Reserved women can have hearts seething with anger and sinful judgment. I've seen both. Appearances deceive. Only God knows the true heart.

A few years ago at Christmas, I received a card with the picture of a rural African woman on the cover. Her head is slightly bowed and her hands are together, palms up, as though she's about to receive a gift. The text reads: "I trust in you, O LORD. My times are in your hands." These are verses from Psalm 31. I've posted that card on my wall so that I can meditate on that beautifully illustrated truth. ...

In the traffic jam, in the news of a feared diagnosis, in loss and devastation — our times are in His faithful, nail-scarred hands. Our lasting defense was secured at the cross. In light of that, we need to give Him time to work on our behalf. What is swallowed now may seem bitter, but it will definitely be sweet in time.

... here's a continual churn in the hearts of those who have not learned that God is at work even in the circumstances and situations that are so disheartening to us. Enduring hardship means we find protection and assurance in God's plan for our lives. Whether in the weeks and years ahead of us in this life or in the bliss of a sin-free eternity, we can trust that God is working all things for our good.

It's well worth your time to read the full article.

Not As Bad As It Sounds

Posted by Candice Watters on June 13th, 2008 at 7:29am
2 Comments (Add a Comment)


 
hanks to "la vie en vogue's" blog post "Popular Mechanics for Lovers," that had this to say about Get Married:

... we recently wrapped up our latest book in my small group with Mal, Bri and Cathy. We read Get Married by Candice Watters which isn’t nearly as bad as the title makes it out to be. In fact, I fell in love with the book because she talks about that marriage is a gift God WANTS to give us (among other things: it models for us the relationship between Christ and the church and also teaches us crucial virtues like selflessness and putting others before ourselves). And so because [it's something] God wants to give us, we should be bold to ask Him for it:

Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. . . . If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (Matthew 7:7–8, Matthew 21:22).

And: “You do not have, because you do not ask God.” (James 4:2)

She talks about not being ashamed of this (although of course with the caveat that to truly reap this gift you should aspire to marry not just anyone but the RIGHT person, which she then details, based on Biblical standards). It was a refreshing and encouraging look at something that people never really talk about. Which is why we are talking about it now. Along with a few other friends, we’ve started a prayer group called “Women Praying Boldly” which is something she suggests in the book, where you just make it a point to be praying for each other as we navigate these waters in our life. (Of course, life is more than just getting married, but that’s one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make so why WOULDN’T it be something that you’d invest a lot of time in and prayer and preparation for? Seriously. It’s a good thing.)

It's still a surprise when I hear the title, "Get Married," is off-putting, even offensive. I appreciate this group's willingness to press through and read it anyway. I'm so glad that this reviewer found the message a source of encouragement and hope. That, after all, was my aim and remains my prayer.

What's Upcoming

Posted by Candice Watters on June 12th, 2008 at 7:14am
No Comments (Add a Comment)


 
n case you missed it, on Monday, Boundless ran my answer to a question from a reader who wondered what men should be looking for in a Christian wife. She wrote,

I'm a HUGE fan of Boundless. Seriously, I love it. My life is so crazy that I usually fall asleep to the Boundless podcast. Not that it puts me to sleep, it's just the only time I have to listen!

I recently read Candice Watters's article, "When to Settle." It was absolutely what I needed to read right now in my life. Candice clearly listed four non-negotiables for choosing a husband. As a woman who wants to be a wife, I want to know what the four non-negotiables for picking a wife might be. What should I be striving to become?

Speaking of the podcast, Friday's show will include a discussion of the CT review of Sex and the City and their defense of their review. Ted Slater, the Boundless editor wrote an open letter to the magazine that has sparked quite a heated debate about the whole thing. Check it out on the Boundless Line.

Is "Sex" a Good Movie?

Posted by Candice Watters on June 6th, 2008 at 12:56pm
4 Comments (Add a Comment)


 
f you only read the review on Christianity Today, you'd have to conclude that overall, the movie "Sex and the City" isn't so bad; maybe even sort of good. Though, in the words of reviewer Camerin Courtney, it lacks "Carrie's usual wrestling with and posing of an intriguing question." Too bad. According to Courtney, "those queries often elevated the show from mere fashionable fluff or soft-core porn." And so we're left with fluff and porn.

Remind me again why CT is endorsing this? Oh, because apparently we can't know for certain what a biblical perspective is. In their self-defense, CT's website says,
We weren't surprised that our review of "Sex and the City" prompted a number of replies, especially when we gave the film 3 stars. But we'd like to again reiterate that our star ratings do NOT imply an "endorsement" or "recommendation." The star ratings have nothing to do with the film's "moral value," because such an assessment can vary widely from person to person.

What then do the stars mean? That the camera angles were creative?

Just to make sure they're covered, CT adds: "This isn't a movie for children or teens, and due to the content, not even for some adults."

Hm, is that the prudish adults, or the ones that takes Jesus' words seriously?

For a thoughtful and more biblical discussion of the film, I recommend two blog posts by two friends: Carolyn McCulley's post on her Radical Womanhood blog, and Suzanne Hadley's post on the Boundless Line.

Here's a taste.

From Carolyn:
In her own words, this movie and the "randy" television show it is based on, are soft-core porn with a liberal dose of materialism applied. I think we are all in agreement about that description. So the next question is why this kind of material rates three stars and a shrug in a review published by a magazine that claims to provide "news analysis and commentary from a biblical perspective," Christianity Today.

... My answer is that the pot with the proverbial frog has boiled over. The changes that have come about with the introduction of "sex positive" or "porn positive" third-wave feminism, beginning in the early 1990s, have now so thoroughly permeated our culture that even evangelicals fail to see the trend or the danger. "Sex and the City" is a showcase for these values wrapped up designer clothes and tottering on expensive shoes.

And from Suzanne:
While we may have a few things in common — we're single and we like shoes — these women are hardly role models to help me to navigate my singleness. In fact, they are living their TV lives in a way that opposes God. If anything, they are a cautionary tale.

... This kind of world-friendliness carries consequences — the biggest one being is sets us in opposition to God. Dealing with an over-sexed Corinthian culture, Paul wrote: "Flee from sexual immorality." And he wasn't only instructing us to flee the actual act. After all, Jesus said: "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

I highly recommend both posts in their entirety. And then, let us know, what do you think about the movie?

Comment Wall (88 comments)

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At 7:57pm on August 19th, 2008,  Elaine Pollard said
Hello;

I just finished reading your book. A lot of what you say is exactly how I feel--especially how the church treats singles. A lot of my friends are married, and in the past when I've expressed my desire to get married, I hear the "single woman can please the Lord" speech. I totally agree with that, but I don't think God gave me the desire to marry just to tease me with.

I'm 40, and for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to get married, but I guess I sort of viewed it as something everyone else could have but me. However, since this year started, I've felt God moving me to get myself prepared--getting out of debt, becoming more domestically inclined and taking better care of my weight. I love this idea of women praying for godly husbands. We're kind of shunned when we make that desire known (at least in my circle).

Again, just wanted to thank you for affirming marriage, and all God has intended for us.

By the way, you're living in my favorite city--I grew up in the Springs.
At 10:12am on August 17th, 2008,  Ivory said
DROPPING BY TO SHOW YOU SOME LOVE!!

Click here to get hot comments and graphics...
At 10:01pm on July 15th, 2008,  Tina said
Hi, Candice!

I have been missing your inspiring messages. I pray that all is well with you and your family.

God bless!!!
At 9:46pm on June 14th, 2008,  Aisha said
Cadice thank you so much for writting such a wonderful book ! I LOVE IT !!!! . . . .

Remain Blessed ! xxxxx
At 9:22am on June 2nd, 2008,  Callie said
Candice,

Last year I lived in Africa for four months. The little girl is the daughter of a woman I'd talk to at the market. That day I received a lesson on how to properly carry a baby on my back like the African woman. :)
At 11:28am on May 22nd, 2008,  Alison said
Candice,

Congrats on your pregnancy! How exciting to have another child to raise in the ways of the Lord! I'll keep you in my prayers that you may have a healthy pregnancy!
At 10:25am on May 21st, 2008,  Alicia said


I hope that your morning sickness is less than it has been. :) Just remember that your little one is a blessing and that he/she will be here soon! :)
At 11:54pm on May 20th, 2008,  Jadie M said
Hi Candice,
thank you so much for your wonderful book! I really enjoyed it and was so blessed by your insight given. Praise God for women like you!
At 6:24am on May 17th, 2008,  Rachael said
I bought our book last week, it an Inspiration to me. Thank you so much for writing it. God Bless!
At 4:22pm on May 16th, 2008,  Mia N. said
Hi, Candice. Thanks so much for the welcome! No, that's not me in the pic. The woman is Aesha Ash. She dances with LINES Ballet Company. I do dance though (mainly ballet and modern). I bet you could still take a dance class somewhere! I'm so thankful for the passion God gave me for the arts...I feel fortunate to have kept up with it. It's definitely not a cakewalk, but it's awesome at the same time...

I've read many articles over at Boundless and I've read some here. As a young woman who's a believer (and who would love to get married and raise a family one day), I've been challenged and so encouraged by your words. I look forward to reading more!

God bless you,
Mia
 
 

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